Magic Wands
In a former incarnation I was a theatrical designer and a tech director. I spent a great deal of time in front of a drawing board with an ashtray at my side, working on conceptual drawings for a show, costume sketches for the shop, or working drawings for the build. The geographic area I worked in was full of engineers-everywhere you look there was an engineer. The funny thing was the engineers who were affiliated with the Center never hesitated to give advice, solicited or otherwise.
The same kind of thing happens frequently on FB, which is after all a public forum. It is not unusual on FB to see those who are not ordained post something that they might have heard about a pastor, near or far, known or unknown, doesn’t make a difference. It’s not unusual on FB to see the digital finger wag at pastors, from others-not unlike the engineers-who know absolutely nothing about your own context, or parish dynamic, in fact they only know a cyber-you. Everyone has advice, everyone it seems knows how to correct “erring” clergy, anyone can do a better job in a congregation than so and so, well…….
If that’s true, if there is a confessional magic wand of sorts that you can wave over any situation in any context then we need you out in the parishes. Quit your job, pack up your family, sell your house, cash out, take on 100k in student loans and come to the sem. Your knowledge is priceless and many other men entering the sem could probably benefit from your advice. Come on! Spend four years at FW or SL, enter into the world of sem politics, the process of certification, the TI, the mystery of the divine call. Go into a parish, or two, or three and live on what you’re paid-or in some cases, not. Shop at the thrift stores for clothes for your kids to go to school in, and by all means, whatever else you do, bring that confessional magic wand with you.
Bring all your education, your affiliations, your presuppositions with you—you’ve got the chops for it, at least on FB. My guess is, and is after all only a guess since I’m not as smart as those who have a wand, that if you do attend the sem, if do manage to get certified and jump all the hoops put in front you, that you’ll find life a little bit different when the reality of the parish smacks the side of your head.
It could be that you attend the sem and for whatever reason-political or otherwise-you don’t get certified; on the contrary you get the “Dear Brother in Christ” letter that closes with “Be off the campus by 5PM.” Right or wrong, just or unjust, you learn that you’re “unfit for the ministry.” That experience too has a dramatic effect on how you’ll view future parish life; all your advice was for naught.
Stiegmeyer, although he is in the parish now can probably still make a few phone calls, pull a few strings with Zimmerman and get you an interview-send him an e-mail. Let’s not forget the ladies, DeGroot is on FB and would be happy to talk to women interested in becoming a deaconess; give her a shout. It’s easy, and you do have that wand, your confessional rabbit’s foot.
Of course those of us who have been-for better or for worse-ordained are really just the same. We attack each other with a vengeance that makes the animal world jealous…maybe Satan isn’t the only person waist deep in ice. My guess is that sleeping giants will wake, but it will be the sound of us eating each alive that will jar them out of their slumber. Wouldn’t it be great if we all thought the same? If we all read the Cliff Note’s to scripture the same? If we all read scripture itself?
What a bitch; we aren’t and we don’t. Thank God for those who can tell right from wrong; thank God for the wand and the lecturing and the posturing that often goes with it. It is after all an open forum and most of the people I know-be suspect though, they are “friends” of mine-don’t mind substantive discussion insofar as FB allows for that. It’s probably better though to shut your mouth than to attack people on a personal level—unless you have the wand, then of course you can do as you like.
This entry was posted on Thursday, March 11th, 2010 at 7:17 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.